Seven Days Need Seven Ways

The Essential Seven: My Staples

I suppose the E7 is always made up of items that I love, but this week are those items that I consider my solids…you know, the stuff you could live without but would rather not. I suspect once I introduce you to them, you won’t want to live without them either. 

The Kicks: Superga

I traded up my white Converse for a pair of Supergas this year.  It was a tough trade as I Chucks had been my casual ride for years, but the Superga won out because of its sleeker feminine look. This Italian sneaker was already popular before I found it, so I can’t claim it, but I definitely am keeping it.  The white crochet is next on my list.  Just in time for summer. www.superga-usa.com

1001 Uses: Mason Jar

Let’s be honest, I have about 150 Mason jars of various sizes floating around my house.  It all started because I thought they were great for storing my green juice, then I discovered they were excellent for, well everything.  So yesterday when I cleaned and organized my entire bathroom and everything was catalogued into mason jars, I realized my uses for them was expanding. I find mine at the local hardware store but you can buy by the case online too. Get them in every size. 

Get a Tan: Island Company Sunscreen

I’ve decided I’m not an outdoorsy person.  I used to be, but blow dryers and stilettos aren’t very functional in the wilderness. I do however, occasionally get to the beach. Even with a giant hat and umbrella, I still need major sun protection.  Island Company is known for its fabulous resort wear in some of the chicest beach locales in the world, but you may not know that they also make the most amazing sunscreen.  You can be like Drake and smell like a vacation anytime when you wear IC. Island Company’s Founder and Creator, Spencer Antle is perhaps one of my favorite characters of the last year (and trust me, I have a roster full of characters…) not only for the genius of his overall lifestyle brand, but because every product is created out of his vision.  He literally lives the Island Company motto. I think I’ll do the same and go get a tan, but I’ll be wearing the Tourist SPF30 while I do it. www.islandcompany.com

Folicle Rehab: Macadamia Natural Oil

Like most women, I torture my hair for the sake of vanity.  That’s why I have a responsibility to pamper it when I can.  This masks is a perfect once a week repair for over styled and over heated tresses. They have an entire line devoted to hair abusers like myself. www.macadamiahair.com

Lip Service: C.O.Bigelow Mentha Lip Shine

The “oldest apothecary in America” has a roster full of great products for your body, but one of the most popular is this Mentha Lip Shine.  I was given a few tubes as a gift a while back and fell in love.  Not only is it a great tasting and smelling lip gloss but it freshen your breath as well.  And who’s going to complain about that? www.bigelowchemist.com

Start Me Up: Ezekiel Bread

Sprouted, flourless, whole grain bread is my breakfast go to food.  Two pieces and I’m good until lunch. There’s no GMOs, refined sugars, and absolutely no flour…whatever all that means.  All I know is  I can get it down quickly and  get on with my day. The fact that it taste good doesn’t suck either. www.foodforlife.com

Foot Fetish: Balega Socks

Who knew anyone could be so passionate about socks.  I happen to know firsthand. I’ve officially been in love with Balega socks since I bought my first pair about 10 years ago.  In fact, anyone who wears them fall in love…and then tries to steal them.  I’m down to about 4 pair now, so I’ve decided it’s time to buy myself a new batch.  The perfect weight and cushioning are one reason they are a fav, but I think more importantly is the cut.  I love the no-show style with a little extra padding at the back to protect the Achilles. Now if I could find a product to protect my real Achilles heel… www.balega.com

Maybe my cadre of “go to” items can enter you routine as well. 

Have an amazing week.

-angela

And sometimes I do.

But other times I venture out of the house and do my job.

(And then other times I just surf the internet looking at porn for stuff I would never actually do in real life.) 

Here’s the first episode of my Boca Raton Magazine advice column, The Naked Truth, served up LIVE….In case you missed it, not to worry.  We’ll be coming soon to a Happy Hour near you.

-angela

Seven Days Need Seven Ways

Essential Seven: Awesomely Good Stuff 

This week’s Essential Seven is nothing more than a compilation of awesomeness.  Sometimes I just want to share the good stuff with you.  Ok, I do that in every E7, but this week it feels extra epic.

Shall we?

Bottoms Up: Clinique lower lash mascara

I have a habit of forgetting about my lower lashes…they are always the last stage of my beauty regime because I usually make a mess of them and get mascara all over the rest of my somewhat perfectly applied face. That all change when I was introduced this week to a mascara specifically designed for my poorly neglected lower lashes.  With a tiny applicator that leaves litte room for error, it’s perfect for applying to those hard to reach lashes.  And it’s waterproof, so no more mascara smudges all over your face in the heat of summer. 

 Veg Out: Maoz Vegetarian

I’ve never claimed to be a foodie.  In fact, my food diary reads like that of an 8 year old.  If you give me a choice of chicken fingers or chicken picatta, calories asides, well, you’ll find me in the kids’ section of the buffet line.  Yep, my eating habits are yet another one of my eccentricities.  But I found something I like, something I really like, and it’s become my Sunday ritual.  I’m diggin’ on a falafel. I load my up with pickles, olives, pickled eggplant, broccoli, and coleslaw. (I told you I was a strange eater.) There’s about 15 other toppings to choose from, but I stay away from sauce and all that other stuff.  I mean, that would just be weird. 

Most Versatile: Hermes Belt

In High School I was awarded the distinction of Most Versatile.  I suppose that was partially inspired by the fact I could run the track meet after drinking wine coolers with all the non-athletic degenerates the night before…actually, that wouldn’t be called versatile. That would just be called being Irish. Anyhow, I invested in this belt a while back, and this week when I realized how many times I’ve actually worn it, and with how many different outfits,  I decided it should claim my title of Most Versatile.  I’ll hold onto Least Likely to Succeed.

Trendsetter: Exposed Style Blog

Three trendsetters, a side of snark, mixed with some solid fashion opinions make up the newly launched ExposedStyle.com.  It’s not your typical fashion blog filled with photos of rose petals and Spring pastels.  No, this is the blog for cool people…so if your idea of fashion involves a cardigan sweater and pearls, you should proceed with caution unless your ready to add some leather and sky high platforms to the mix.   My favorite post to date? WTFfashion targeting that good girl fav, Pink. Everyone knows even faux bad girls like me hate pink.  As ExposedStyle says, “I mean, vom already!” 

He Loves Me: Yellow Roses

I have to give my kid props this week for being awesome.  Yesterday was Mother’s Day.  Being his mom is gift enough so I wasn’t expecting anything, but I was pleasantly surprised when I came home from the gym and found that he had ridden his bike about 5 miles to the store to get me none other than my favorite…yellow roses.  He still had sweat on his upper lip when he recounted the story of trudging up the giant overpass hill on his path with roses and a balloon tied to his backpack that said, “Queen for the Day.” Being the mushy Mom that I am, I immediately dropped to the floor in a fit of laughter picturing how f*cking funny it must have been for anyone that spotted him.  What? Don’t judge me.  He admitted to thinking, “This bitch better damn well like her Mother’s Day present.” This bitch did.  This bitch didn’t just like it, she loved it.  

Paint the Town: YSL Rouge Volupte Lipstick

After watching Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines video last week, I decided I’m stepping out of my nude lip gloss cocoon and trying red lipstick.  But you can’t just wear any red lipstick.   Apply the wrong kind and you’ll look like, well, you know exactly what you’ll look like. I found the perfect partner in crime with the YSL product.  My match is #4, but this long lasting, color saturated formula comes in several shades of red so there’s lots of options. 

The Perfect Shade of Shady: Sweet Water Bar and Grill 

I had a moral conundrum on whether or not I should give up my secret Shady McGrady spot.  I’m feeling generous today, so I figured, why not?  Mi casa es su casa and my shady place can be yours too. (as long as you pretend you don’t see me.) So I’m giving up the perfect place to meet a first date- Sweet Water Bar and Grill.  Now I’m not the first to discover this little gem on the corner of Woolbright and Federal.  It’s packed every night of the week.  I just find it’s not packed with EVERYONE you know…like that stretch of sidewalk called Atlantic a couple of miles south.  It’s dark.  REALLY dark.  Like, “need my phone flashlight to see the drink menu, man I must look good in this compromised lighting” dark. Even more important, this is the kind of place that emphasizes house-made flavorings, infusions, and locally produced fruits and vegetables. They have craft liquors and beer produced by small distilleries and brewers. What does this mean for you? It means don’t walk in and order a Kettle on the rocks. When is ShadyTown, do what the locals do. Find a corner and ask the friendly waitstaff to pour you their favorite.  You won’t be disappointed. 

I hope you get to enjoy some of my awesomely good stuff this week.  Better yet, find some awesomely good stuff of your own.

Make your week amazing.

-angela

I’m like, super restless this week…

Sometimes I get like this when I’m bored. And by bored I mean not having every minute of every day scheduled.  I’ve never quite embraced the theory of learning to “Chill the f*ck out.”

This was my week to write lots of great shit, and make in roads on all my creative projects, but instead I just sat around in my pajamas drinking diet coke and cursed the fact that I didn’t come up with the genius idea of the banana bunker…

Is it just me of does this thing look like it belongs in your night stand drawer instead of the kitchen?

I was also kind of pissed I didn’t win the Powerball Lottery either.

But, not all was lost, I did get a new article written for the Huffington Post. 

They posted the  I made my publicist edit version because I went over the word limit and asking an “artist” to deconstruct their work is like asking Da Vinci to go back and paint a toothier smile on the Mona Lisa short version, so I thought I’d share the full version here.

Plus, since I sat around all day pouting about not winning $220 million last night, surfing the internet for things like banana bunkers,

watching old Rick Astley videos, eating an entire box of Wheat Thins for lunch, and looking at pictures of shoes on Instagram,

this means…

I didn’t write a damn thing today.

So here’s the Huffington Post article in its original glory.

I’ve got to go shower now. I have a chance to salvage my worthless day. I have a date tonight…

An Open Letter To the Newly Divorced Woman

Please stop crying.  No really, I’m serious. Enough is enough.  Frankly, you should be celebrating. Rather than dwelling on the downside of divorce, look at it this way- you just lost 180 pounds of dead weight…give or take 50 depending on how big of a lug your ex was. More likely than not, he won’t be sitting home crying over you, even if you were the one that ended things.  Men have an emotional knob that dials down the pain down to the lowest setting once they start to see long legs and flowing blond hair all around them.  Yep. He’s fast on his way to getting over you.

But let’s get back to you. You’ve  wasted enough energy dwelling on him and the past.  I’m about to tell you some things that you won’t believe. In fact, I’ll actually feel your collective head shake and muttering under your breathe as you think, “She’s sooooo wrong.”

I am not wrong. I was you.  I made every foolish mistake you can make post divorce. Fortunately I survived them all and live to tell about it.  After four years of my own post divorce journey, of figuring this whole happiness thing out organically (with a few bumps and bruises along the way), I decided I’d should impart the knowledge to you that I wish someone would have given me.

Let’s take a look the best road tested post-divorce advice you’re ever going to get, shall we?

1. You will feel alone. But just initially.  It will take time to get comfortable in your own skin, and learn to be at peace with being solo. Friends will come around, but ironically they won’t be available when the breakdowns occur. Quite honestly, you will push them away.  This is a time you need to figure out your identity moving forward.  When the feelings of loneliness envelope you, embrace the time alone as a gift.  Most of your adult life, you have been coupled or bound by obligation to others, rarely focusing on your own needs.  Now is your opportunity to delve deep and determine your worth.

2. The first guy is not THE ONE. I know you swear he is. You are that one love lottery winner that found your soulmate just as the judge was pounding the gavel to declare your singledom.  How fortunate you are! You don’t have to go through the agony of countless bad dates looking for Mr. Right!  Thoughts of remarriage enter your head.  You wouldn’t tell anyone this, of course.  How could they understand that fate has brought the man of your dreams to your doorstep just in time? They can’t because, as sorry as I am to break this to you, he’s not THE ONE.  In fact, he will be one of many THE ONEs. (yes, plural. You will make this mistake frequently in the coming months/years.) That’s ok, though, because here is what he is. He is the guy that is a shot of morphine to the emotional mind f*ck you’ve been going through for longer than anyone could really know. He is the one that made you feel alive again.  He is the one that gave you your swagger back.  Yes, I am sexy. Yes, I am desirable. And, wow, I had no idea sex could be this awesome!

But he is not THE ONE.  So don’t go through a mini breakdown when it ends.  There will be others, and fortunately, the sex will be just as good.

3.  Take advantage of your weight loss. As much as you’d like to think so now, the divorce diet does not last.  Those fifteen pounds you literally dropped overnight when you were going through the worst time of your life and could barely even hold down water, will creep back on.  Enjoy it now. Wear tiny bikinis and skimpy sundresses. Don’t get discouraged and think you won’t be desirable when your weight evens out.  Quite the contrary. You will be even more desirable because you’ve tapped into your mojo, baby.  The weight loss is your body’s evolutionary way of giving you a much needed boost of self-confidence as you get naked for someone new for the first time in years. I don’t care how hot your body is, standing naked in front of someone new the first time is scary.  I remember shaking so uncontrollably that my teeth rattled.  Fortunately, it gets easier to drop your skivvies and by the time you’re back to your old self, you’ve had enough practice that gained enough confidence that having a slightly rounder belly or softer hip is a bonus.

4. Your married friends will judge you. This could be the most bitter pill to swallow in all of divorce. Sure, your ex-husband dating women 10 years younger than you stings, but nothing will sting as badly as hearing those you trusted are not-so secretly disapproving of every move you make as a divorced single woman. It’s only partially their fault.  Listening to your stories of steamy makeout sessions with the guy you’ve just met online immediately before going home to clean spaghetti off the wall and listen to unbearable snoring (again) would make anyone hate you. They don’t comprehend that it’s perfectly ok for you to casually date a twenty-something for his rock hard abs rather than his intellectual prowess.  They frown upon your “friend with benefits” situation that constitutes no exclusivity and, even better, no obligatory sleepovers  They don’t get it because it’s not their reality…and you would never want it to be. Ours is not an easy path and there are plenty more nights parenting alone, sleeping alone, and feeling alone that we would care to wish upon our worst enemy, yet alone our friends. No matter how well articulate the fact that your moments of ecstasy do not make up for the Sahara desert dry spells, they won’t get it. So just don’t tell them about it.  Which brings me to my next point…

5. Birds of a feather flock together. Your friendship circles will change.  You won’t lose the friends you’ve vacationed with as a family or spent countless Saturday nights mingling with as couples, but the context of those relationships will change.  They will still be doing the couple thing, and well, you won’t. Yeah, it sucks but you have to let it go. It doesn’t mean you care for them any less, but right now, you need a different shoulder to lean on. You need other divorced women in your life. Women that are struggling with the same issues you are going through. These are the women who are dating, and sexting, and trying to figure out if this is really the last first date they will ever have to go on. They understand you right now, and can talk you off the ledge when he doesn’t call back and it’s been three days.  Your unattached circle should outnumber your coupled friends, if only for now.  It’s best this way.

6. Don’t chase the party. There will be nights that you find yourself dancing with a little person named Paco wearing a sombrero in the middle of a club at 3am, and there will be nights that you are home by 11 looking at yourself in the mirror as you remove your makeup and think, “I got dressed up for THAT?” It’s going to be a crapshoot, but you can’t manufacture fun.  As Kenny Rogers said, “Know when to hold ‘em. Know when to fold ‘em.” If the night just isn’t happening, ask for the check, turn in the valet ticket, and head home. You will make more foolish mistakes in an attempt to fabricate a good time than you ever would if you allow things to happen naturally.

A word of advice- when you do find yourself dancing on table tops and living it up like rap lyrics,  let it ride.  Don’t turn into Cinderella and race off to find your pumpkin carriage. Party your ass off.  Those are legendary nights, and they do not happen often.  They provide great memories for the many non-legendary nights in your future.

7. Explore the sexual candy store. When you signed the divorce papers you were also handed a key to the Wonka factory. It’s a crazy place, but nothing, (and I do mean nothing) is off limits.  This is the time to explore.  To be adventurous. To do the things you always secretly thought about but were afraid or unable to try. It really is perfectly normal to be attracted to construction workers with tattoos one week, and be completely smitten with a very mild-mannered accountant the next. This is when you get to taste the sexual Skittles rainbow. Dating different types of men will help you zone in on what traits you desire, not just what you assume you should be desiring.  All I can tell you is that I’ve never once regretted anything I’ve done while single. Do not let societal standards outweigh your need for sexual exploration.  If you want to dance all night with a midget named Paco because for a brief moment in time it makes you really happy, then by golly, you damn well better be doing it.

8. Buy Condoms. You’re going to need them.  Not because you are promiscuous but because there will be that moment after date 3, 4 or 5 (or 1…no judgements here!) that he comes back to your place and as things get heated, he tells you he has no protection.  Your vagina will override your brain. Let me be very clear-  if you don’t care about your own body, no one else will. Make sure that you don’t allow the wrong end of your anatomy to make a stupid decision that could have ripple effects on your life permanently. You are not a slut because you buy condoms.  You are a genius because you know that when the stars align and your body is chemically responding to another’s there is nothing that will get in your way of fulfilling your needs, including lack of protection.  Sad, but true. Stay smart, and stay safe. Buy every kind, every size, every flavor. Consider it your Lady Bits insurance policy.

9. Keep your ex in the dark. When you become civil to each other again, your ex will be very interested in your love life.  As you exchange pleasantries about the kids’ schedules or what your weekend was like, inevitably the topic of your love life will come up.  I understand that for years he was your best friend and confidant and now that you are in a happy place it’s easy to share.  Don’t. He doesn’t need to know who you’re crushing on, making out with, or casually dating.  Until your romantic situation involves the lives of your shared children, none of the above is his business.  I know you want to be friends and speak openly, but that part of your life needs to stay sacred.  If not, an ex can unwittingly, or sometimes deliberately, sabotage everything.

10. You will eventually figure it all out. One night when the kids are settling into bed, the dishes are done, and the dogs are resting peacefully on the couch, you will look around your quiet house and have an epiphany. A new normal has settled in, and you are doing just fine. Better than fine. You haven’t felt sad in some time, and not only that, you are actually hopeful and excited for your future. There’s been a seismic shift in the primary focus of your days.  You’ve moved from healing to growth. It’s a profound moment. One that calls for celebration. In your very own Candyland style reality of two steps forward, one step back, you have made it to Gum Drop Mountain.  Take it in.

When you get there, remember the time when you thought I was wrong about all this.  The time that you couldn’t see the what was next, when you thought I was crazy to tell you one day you would actually celebrate. Now you will understand that something really great can come from something really bad.  Raise a glass for me.  I’ll be on my way to Candy Castle. I’ll keep you posted on what the road looks like up ahead, but I think I see Skittles.

-angela

Seven Days Need Seven Ways

The Essential Seven: Things That Make Me Happy

On this Essential Seven, I wanted to share things that made me happy this week…

Maybe they can make you happy too. 

(Or then again, maybe you’re just miserable and nothing will make you happy, but hey, that’s not my probs)

Guilty Pleasure: Dark Chocolate Acai

My son introduced me to these. Now he has to pry the bag from my hand.  I tell myself it’s good for me, this dark chocolate and acai combo.  Ok, an apple would probably be better for me but sometimes all the time, I usually say “Screw what’s good for me. the bad is way more fun.”  http://www.brooksidechocolate.com/usa/home

Mental Stimulation: The Law of Attraction, Plain and Simple

Before I even began studying energy levels and vibrations, I knew I was a glass half full kind of person. But books like The Secret and this great, easy read from Sonia Ricotti  puts what I already suspected into very simple terms: What you put out into the Universe is what comes back to you. 

Service with a Smile: BMW

I’m not the easiest to deal with when it comes to my car.  A) I’m a female so anytime a light comes on, I immediately call every halfway handy guy I know to interpret and B) I’m always in a rush.  Thanks to the great service at BMW they are ready for me every time I come barreling in, loaner car prepped to go, and have me headed to the next destination. 

When It Rains It Pours: Rain Boots

I’ve lived in South Florida nearing two decades now, and every rainy season I swear I’m buying a pair of rain boots. This week I made good on that promise.  After the monsoons that occurred that left most holding designer shoes high above their heads to keep from becoming water-logged, I knew it was time to save the shoes permanently. I still wasn’t ready to splurge on an expensive pair, so when I found this great $35 pair from Zappos, I was sold.  And yes, I got them in white.  Just because it’s raining, doesn’t mean I have to sacrifice my normal “all white everything” motto. 

Bring It In: Bluprint Juice at Whole Foods

Green juice is a staple for me, considering I have to offset all those dark chocolate acai binges.  Now that my local Whole Foods is carrying Bluprint individual bottles, I can run by and grab a green on the go, or a pineapple mint post spin.  They aren’t cheap, but then again, neither is anything good…

ADD Dating: Tinder

I’ve discovered something that moves as fast as my ever-changing mind. Tinder.  A “Hot or Not” choice, if you will, based upon limited Facebook profiles of a target area that you control.  You choose whether or not you are interested in the person, based solely upon a selection of a few pics.  If they happen to be interested in you, it’s a match! Conversations can begin from there.  Ladies, a word of advice- the same dating rules apply in cyber world as is real-time. If you do get a match, let him initiate contact.  The app is gaining in popularity, and of the men I had conversations with, most said they were having great luck with it.  One thing I did note: the majority of the age demographic tends to be early to mid 20′s.  I suspect it will take some time for Tinder to catch on in different target markets.  Until then, I’ll just keep playing Ms. Robinson.

SEXon a Stick: #THICKE: Blurred Lines Video

I’ve written about Robin Thicke before. He’s hot, and he knows it.  The way a man carries himself is everything, and RT definitely knows how to carry himself.  Of course, shooting a video with 3 topless models and a backdrop that reads…

will do it too. No wonder his gorgeous wife is always smiling. Not only is the video amazing, (and banned by You Tube no less) with special appearances by Pharrell, T.I. and six of the most perfect tits I’ve personally ever seen, I can’t stop playing the song.  This shit is the summer jam for sure. Yes, RT, I’ll be your good bad girl gone bad worse any day of the week. The lines are definitely blurred…check it out yourself here. 

Here’s hoping your week is as happy as mine.  

(And if not, here’s hoping you have enough wine to forget it)

-angela

It’s been a week of crazy…

I told you the stars were lined up for some crazy shit.  There are two people who always, and I mean ALWAYS get it right: my psychic and my astrologist. So when I read this week’s horoscope,  I was prepared for twisted.

Good thing. 

Remember when I told you that you know whether you are attracted to someone in the first five minutes of meeting them? Yeah, well, it takes me about 10 seconds…and then another 60 to get completely turned off as soon as they open their mouth.  It’s a bummer, actually, because those first 10 seconds, well, those first ten seconds are electric. So yeah, it’s kind of like electrocution to my system when that water cooler full of ice water called, “Ugh, not so hot” gets thrown on my head.

It happened this week. Such potential…and then such shittery. Usually at this stage of life, all of us have become pretty adept in the body language of, “There’s not a chance I’m sleeping with you.”  I guess this guy skipped that section in The Game. 

…and so the emails began. 

Two, before I could fire off a, “Thanks, but I’m actually super busy this week.” This was the truth, of course.  But when there’s potential, there’s rearrangement…and there was no potential for rearrangement here. 

He was not to be deterred.  Seven emails and four Facebook messages later, I thought…

THIS is what it’s like to be on the other side of obsession. 

I mean, as embarrassing as it is to admit, we’ve all gotten a little OCD over someone before.  Nod your head in agreement if you’ve ever stalked someone’s social media…

Hello? You didn’t think I didn’t already knew you were in NYC?  Yeah, I saw that on twitter 4 hours and 7 minutes ago! 

And we’ve all experienced that sickening feeling where, when you aren’t stalking their Facebook page or who they’ve recently friended (That bitch!), you most certainly are obsessing over their whereabouts, and more specifically, WHY HAVE THEY NOT TEXTED YOU BACK!?!?!?

I don’t care how cool or how lame you are, you’ve flipped each side of the emotional interested/not interested coin.

When it comes to relationships, the seesaw is never balanced equally…

 Someone’s ass is always dragging the ground. 

In an effort to keep you, (and me) from having our collective asses drag the ground and otherwise give the object of our affection the illusion that we are completely batshit and might break into their apartment and watch them sleep, I came up with my tips on how you can reign in the crazy:

1. Be able to identify when you’re getting out of hand. In the period of one day- you can look at his Facebook twice, or play her You Tube video once, and you can send two unanswered text.  But that’s it.  Anything more and you have to step away.  Take a cold shower.  Slap yourself. Bang your head against a door.  YOU know you’ve got a problem here, but the last thing you want is to confirm your obsessed status. Anything more than two unanswered means of contact in one day is universally accepted as stalking.

That girl over there with the crazy eyes that’s been staring at me for an hour is hot…said no guy ever. 

2. Remember when you were the victim of pathetic. I received a text recently from a guy I dated a few years ago.  All it said was, “I’m sorry.”  When I pushed him to explain he told me that he now had a girl begging him to sleep with her. Begging. It reminded him of when we went out and he launched a daily text campaign touting the benefits of a relationship with him and he now realized how pitiful that was. “Desperation reeks,” he said. 

3. Smash your phone. Sometimes desperate situations call for desperate measures.  If you can’t control your impulses to reach out, you have two choices.  Delete their number or break your phone.  Sadly, you will still find a way to deliver that “Are you mad at me?” panicked message, even if it means using a pay phone in the middle of Crack Town. 

They seem to be out of hand sanitizer around here so I’ll just use the discarded condom wrapper to hold the phone…

4. Love the one you’re with. My philosophy holds true that the fastest way to get someone out of your system is to get someone else in it. Move your crazy on to someone else.  Or preferably several someone else’s.  The buckshot approach.  If you spread the crazy around, it’s way less potent.

…I got another email from Mr. Not Getting the Hint this morning. 

“Have a good weekend and think about me, ok?”

Yes.  I’ll get right on that. Right after I background search, Instagram stalk, and track the movements of that guy…

Shit.

Touché.

-angela

What happens when you crave attention from others but are in a committed relationship?

It’s the Question of the Day. 

Have Questions you need answered?  Submit them here.

Seven Days Need Seven Ways

The Essential Seven: Setting The Mood

This week I’m excited to get back to where it all started…writing. It’s difficult to put your words on paper if the mood isn’t set just perfectly, so I thought I’d share how I set the tone when I need to be creative.  Perhaps your creative outlet is not the same as mine, but these Essential Sevens are still just as effective. 

Libations: A bottle of red

Wine is bottled poetry, according to Robert Louis Stevenson. I would have to agree.  Just one glass calms the chaos of the mind enough to let the words flow.  Right now I’m pouring a great Cabernet from Napa Valley, aptly named The Crusher. with flavors or strawberry, raspberry and bing cherry joining caramel undertones. Fabulous on the tongue and at less than $20 a bottle, doesn’t break the bank either. http://thecrusherwines.com/

Clean As a Whistle: Dove Soap

I’ve been using Dove so long that I actually can’t remember when I didn’t use it.  Don’t hand me body wash or a fancy hotel body bar.  I don’t want anything with fragrance. Just get me unscentedly clean without irritating my skin. And although I use other products for my face now, I spent my entire twenties and early thirties washing my face with the stuff. http://www.dove.us/

Scent of a Woman: Untitled

Most women I know amass a fragrance collection that rivals their numerous lip gloss choices.  I am not one of them.  I have a fragrance for day and a fragrance for night. My night scent, Chanel Mademoiselle only is applied after dark…and for very special occasions. When you train the body to associate a smell with a situation…I digress. 

I’ve worn both for years.  But Untitled is the fragrance that I’m known for. A friend once told me when she happens by a whiff of it, she immediately thinks of me. And Untitled really does represent me: It starts out green and fresh but evolves into an intense musky scent. Feminine yet masculine at the same time.  http://maisonmartinmargiela-parfums.com/index.en.php#/home

Light ‘Em Up: Jo Malone Candle

Once I set the stage physically, it’s time to set the room tone.  That’s where a fabulous candle comes in.  I’ve tried less expensive, I’ve tried different scents, but when I splurge, it’s on a Jo Malone. With an unusually long burn time and lovely fragrance that hangs in the air for hours, this is a definite justified luxury item for anyone. My favorite is the Pomegranate Noir. www.joemalone.com

If It Isn’t Written Down, It Didn’t Happen: Moleskine Notebook

It’s rare to find me without my notebook nearby. Sure, I could take notes in my phone, but the heart of a writer is in her notes. Notes that I frequently revisit for moments of inspiration.  That crazy thought I had six months ago would be long gone had it not been written in my journal.  I can often see the state of mind I was in when I put the pen to paper by analyzing my handwriting.  You don’t have to be an expert to decipher stress from calm when it comes to a pen stroke. In my book, Play Big, I wrote that everyone should blog. While that may be a lofty goal, everyone should, at the very least write. You have something meaningful to say, even if it’s just to yourself. www.moleskineus.com

Wrap It Up: Cashmere Blanket

I have a blanket obsession, but that’s a story for another day. When I’m writing, I envelope myself in my cashmere blanket.  There’s a feeling of security and luxury in this cashmere blanket. This one goes everywhere with me. www.revolveclothing.com

The NerveCenter: Macbook Pro

My life is nestled inside my computer.  My music, my thoughts, my email.  It’s by far the longest standing relationship I’ve kept in quite some time.  And I can assure you that it’s treated better!  It’s worn, and we’ve gone through our challenges with memory limits and slow response time, but honestly, I can’t give it up.  I’ve thought about replacing, but this is one monogamous relationship I’m committed to keeping!  One day, our gig will be up, and some new set of hardware will serve me better, but for now this one has my heart…and my thoughts. 

Whatever it is you need to set the mood for this week, I wish you success.

Here’s wishing you creativity to go after you dreams and the mindset to do so.

-angela

Seven Days Need Seven Ways

The Essential Seven: Sexy

I’m not sure what’s gotten into me, but I’m feeling a little frisky.  Call it mojo, planets aligning, or the luck of the Irish. No doubt about it…

This week we’re getting sexy. 

Call Me Maybe/Definitely/Multiple Times: Durex Fundawear

I am 100% obsessed with the new Durex Fundawear.  As in, I must have a pair of the “sex meets social media experiment” underthings. The Fundawear are embedded with touch sensors that are accessed remotely by a lover with a phone.  That’s right.  He can be 3,000 miles away and still tickle your, err…fancy. This type of remote controlled sex toy is nothing new, but this is the condom maker’s first stab at futuristic foreplay. The buzz and Youtube video explaining how Fundawear work have gone viral, showing a clear marketing success story if nothing else.  Unfortunately, despite my attempt at securing a pair to test (research purposes, I swear) I have been unsuccessful thus far.  I’ll be waiting. Until then, there’s always OhMiBod, and their music driven vibrator.   Justin Timberlake, anyone?

Dinner and a Movie: 9 1/2 Weeks

This movie made S&M hot way before that Christian Gray guy decided to whip a few girls in his Red Room. It’s the ultimate psychology of sexual desires movie, showing just how far one’s limits can be pushed.  And if you haven’t ever tried to recreate the food scene from this movie,  well, what the hell are you waiting for??? THIS is the original food porn…

Adult Parlor Game: Sex Art

For some time I’ve been fascinated by the Love is Art concept created by South-African artist, Jeremy Brown. Basically, you turn your lovemaking into an art piece for the world to admire.  Whether or not you tell them this Rorschach Test looking masterpiece was made by your ass sliding across the canvas during coitus is completely up to you.  The kit included a blank canvas, a plastic sheet for laying beneath said canvas, paint in your choice of colors, a loofah for scrubbing the paint off your body after completion and two pairs of disposable mesh slippers to keep your feet from tracking paint all over the house on the way to the shower. 

A word of advice:  this is not a project to be taken on with just any random one nighter, so don’t pull this project out as an alternative to naked twister.  It’s called LOVE is Art for a reason.  You don’t want an imprint of hot spin class guy’s penis above your bed for eternity.  This should be done with someone you love, and someone who can laugh with you during the process.  It’s messy and occasionally awkward with some laughs and a few pleasant surprises.  But doesn’t that describe LOVE perfectly? 

Mood Music: Al Green

My first real “adult “boyfriend introduced me to Al Green 18 years ago. I was fresh out of college and he was a baseball player home for the off-season.  Sort of Bull Durham-ish, but I digress…

Anyhow, we would dance around the living room, drinking wine and singing every word of every song on Al’s Greatest Hits album.  The romance didn’t stick, but Al did.  Anytime I need to set the mood, he’s the guy that knows the perfect words. “Love and Happiness…something that can make you do wrong; make you do right.”  I’ll take mine very, very wrong, thank you.

Pick a Card, Any Card: Kama Sutra Deck

There might be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there’s at least a hundred positions to love him in. That’s right.  Any time you need a moment of inspiration, pull a card from the deck.  Leave one on her bathroom counter, or even better, slip one in his briefcase so he can think about what’s on the menu later. 

Reach Out and Touch Someone: Skype

Sometimes you just can’t be in the same place as your lover no matter how much you would like to do so.  Hey, busy people need love too! Enter Skype. I have to admit, I had trouble getting into my “zone” initially, but after a few tries you begin to work the kinks work the kinks out. Need help with how to begin? Check out my Skype sex tips for the novice. 

Baby Got Back: The Big Butt Book

Ladies, those of us with a little (or a lot) of junk in the trunk have nothing to be fear when it comes to the posterity of our posterior.

The ASS is here to stay. 

Labeled a “cornucopia of delectable derrieres” this cult classic pays homage to what our mama’s gave us. Not to mention, it’s a book filled with really hot photos. Mine holds it’s place of honor on my bedside table reminding me that ASSets are always a bonus. 

Wow! Too much hotness is this week’s Essential Seven.  I hope this week’s list ignites your sexy.

 Oh, and my apologies for not getting the Essential Seven to you sooner this week…

Let’s just say I was busy  ”getting inspired.”

Make your week amazing (and sexy). 

-angela

Skype Sex

We live in a technology driven world where we broadcast the most insignificant of thoughts via Twitter accounts, or show the world exactly what we ate and (thanks to geocoding) exactly where we consumed it.  If fact, any whim we can imagine can be satisfied via the internet and our smart phones. Including sex.

Thanks to services such as Skype, when circumstances find us miles away from our love, we can still look them in the eye the moment they, ummm…thank us for coming.

I must admit I was a bit of a purist when it came to sexual intimacy. Put us in a room together and I could make my lover blush in 30 seconds, but to replicate that intensity via dialogue or text? Well, I am a writer, I justified.  I should be able to use my imagination.  (And did I ever.) I was a fast learner at the art of the sext, and whispering naughty talk over the phone came easily to me. But virtual sex? That was an entirely new level of game.  However, with long distance relationships and conflicting schedules, the need for connection on a visual level became very apparent. If an old school girl like me can learn to appreciate a little face time, so can you.

1. Make a date for Skype. Your rendezvous should be scheduled.  Allow no distractions.  Make sure you have plenty of privacy before the cameras start.

2. Set the stage. You wouldn’t go out for a date in your sweatpants nor should you show up for a Skype date looking a mess. Ensure the background is appropriate perhaps an enticing bedroom with lots of pillows. Wear sexy lingerie, and test the lighting levels.  Find the perfect balance of sultry but still visible.

3. It’s all in the angle. Have you ever seen girls raise a camera high in the air to take a group picture?  They’re onto something.  Camera angle can erase a double chin, make cleavage look fuller, and otherwise make it appear as if you are an angel sent from heaven.  It’s better than photo shop.  Keep the camera 6-12 inches above eye level for the best possible look.

4. Get into the role. The reality is YOU are the only one pleasing YOU in this scenario.  Rather than focusing on what you think your partner wants to see, focus on what turns you on.  I can assure you, if you are doing what comes naturally, your partner will explode with appreciation for your ability to “be one with yourself.”

If you find the thought of virtual sex too intimidating, consider allowing your partner to become a voyeur into your everyday routine.  Try turning on the camera and hopping in the shower. It’s an excellent place to start.

Happy Skyping!

-angela